The Night of the Ball

"One thousand embraces will cradle you, making all of your weary days seem far away."

* * * * * 

  

The sound of trickling water filled the chamber she shared with Sebastian, low candlelight flickering upon the walls alongside the dying fire in the hearth. Within the steaming copper tub, the matriarch of House Marchand allowed the hot water to seep into her bones while the winds and snows of Ishgard continued outside the ornate window.

Somewhere in the hallway, she heard a brief snippet of laughter. Her attention was briefly drawn to the door before she smiled and relaxed again. Somewhere in the Shroud, there was to be a ball tonight. Years had come and gone since the last time she wore a pretty gown and danced without a care in the world while instruments played quietly in the moonlight. She cast a glance to the stunning gown of blue, silver, and white she'd prepared for the festivities, hanging upon the wardrobe in a place of honor. Though she had a fair bit of skill with weaving, she'd contracted this particular gown to someone far more fashionably conscious. She wanted to ensure she looked like a proper lady, one worthy of the love of a knight of Ishgard.

Again she heard talking outside of the room, and pulled herself out of the tub at last to finish getting ready. Standing there, she rubbed some of the water away with a thick towel before sliding her arms through a fluffy robe. Wandering to the dying hearth, she poked the embers and slid a new log inside before stepping to her small desk. Upon it lay an ornate envelope, one she knew to contain a wedding invitation for an old friend. The flowing writing on the fancy paper was nothing but another decoration in preparation for their day. She grinned foolishly as she remembered she be preparing her own such envelopes rather soon.

Moving around the room, she dressed herself. Corset and underthings came first - sliding her stockings and garters on one at a time before the fire to keep herself warm. Then came lotions and perfume, lathering her skin in the scent of lilies. A quick spritz of perfume in her hair would keep the scent surrounding her for all of the night, as well.

She glanced up at a knock at the door, sliding her arms through a thick dressing robe as she went to open it. A servant arrived with tonight's meal on a wheeled cart, bringing four different trays of food and three bottles of fine wine. She directed them to the small table where she and Sebastian took their meals, tipping them before they were on their way.

Erisande would not be attending the ball in the Shroud tonight. At the last minute, Ser Pavel had been called forth to do his duty to protect Ishgard. So she would do hers, tending to him and his hurts when he returned for the night. The bandages rested nearby if he needed them, and she was prepared to use her conjuring magic if need be. The meal would warm and sustain him, and she hoped the wine would ease his mind and body. Most importantly, Erisande herself would be there to soothe him.

Peeling off the thick robe, she poured herself a single glass of wine and took a seat before the fire. She reclined her mostly bare legs upon the nearby footstool, and picked up her book to read. When Sebastian returned, she wanted him to have an eyeful of all that was good in the world.

A Peaceful Sleep At Last

"Let's hold on tight to dreams of ours, even though we've still got a long way to go."

* * * * *

Erisande woke a bit early, as the sun was still rising over snowy Ishgard. The fire, long having died to mere embers, managed to keep the room a smidgen above freezing through the night.

Glancing to the sleeping form of Sebastian beside her, she smiled and stroked a hand gently along his shoulder. He was exhausted, and she chuckled knowing the simple touch would not wake him. It was no secret that he'd rested more deeply at her side. After all he'd been through recently, he needed his rest.

As she rose from the bed and donned a robe, her first stop was the fireplace. A little poke of the embers and some kindling brought the flames back to life before she slipped a good sized log inside to burn.

He had not called out, had not let her know of his need to have her by his side in Ishgard. He had not told her of the troubles faced by his house, the disappearance of one of the noble ladies he served, and the days of stress that followed. Still there was political turmoil as well, the city still torn between those who desired vengeance against the dravanians and those who wished for peace now that option presented itself.

Sebastian's parents had been killed by dravanians, and it broke her heart to know he'd been orphaned because of this terrible war. She understood why it was difficult to let go of the past. If she was perfectly honest, there could be no peace for her if she was asked to break bread with whoever murdered her own mother.

On the same hand, she did not want their own children to be orphaned, either. If the war continued, it was possible.As she glanced back into the room, she knit her brow together. Nor did she want to be a widow. Her beloved wore the mantle of both knight and dragoon, and he was one of the first to respond to dravanian attacks. Several times already she'd had to kiss him goodbye without knowing if he would return.

Stepping back into the room, she smiled as she saw him again, still sleeping peacefully. He'd changed her world, showed her that there was still love in her own heart by giving his own to her. As she continued to watch him, he stirred the slightest bit and then opened his eyes. As his vision cleared and he recognized her, he gave a warm and sleepy smile.

She returned the smile, realizing that her eyes had grown suddenly misty. Closing the distance between them, she shed the robe she wore and went to his now open arms.

Walls, Crumbling

"Shall I be the one for you, who pinches you softly but sure?"

Four months ago.

*   *   *   *   * 

After almost a full year of training in Ishgard, Erisande had become a conjurer at last. Still, she guarded her heart, refusing to allow anyone access...until Sebastian. 

She'd met Ser Sebastian Pavel in Ul'dah on a business trip for the House. While wandering through the Quicksand, they'd crossed paths and the attraction had been almost instantaneous. She'd taken him as a lover that very night, their passions burning brightly in the days and weeks that followed. Always it seemed Sebastian desired more, but she continued to push him away, insisting that pleasure was enough.

When Sebastian woke one morning, Erisande was not in the bed beside him. Though the indent of her body was there, there was no warmth. She had been gone from his side for hours. Across the room, he saw her standing before the window in a sheer robe. The sun shone through the flimsy fabric, displaying her long-limbed figure in the light. Her long hair lay captured in a long braid to one side of her head, and she seemed deep in thought as she looked out onto the grounds of House Marchand. 

Rising from the bed, Sebastian joined her on the other side of the room, savoring the glimpse of paradise he witnessed before him. He could only smile as the sunlight shifted around her, as though she was one of the Twelve given form before him. Standing behind her, his hands folded around her waist. She could not help but lay her own atop his, leaning her cheek into the gentle kiss he offered.

She savored the touch for a few long moments, closing her eyes and lifting one hand to sift through his hair. Her decision was made, and it was cruel to lead him on further. Though it was difficult, she turned and managed to extricate herself from his arms, turning to gaze up at him.

"Sebastian, I..." She licked her lower lip, glancing away. He could see the pain and fear in her eyes, and she trembled with it. "I cannot be with you anymore. We are too different, too..." She paused again, ensuring they were no longer touching. "I have enjoyed our dalliance, but it cannot continue," she said, somewhat more firmly. 

He looked at her as though he did not hear her correctly. Surely she must be jesting with him. Then, he saw her eyes, that pained look that he had seen every time she recalled her past to him. He stood there, raising an arm to the wall as he braced himself. "You are certain of this?" He spoke evenly. 

"I...." She looked at him in shock and surprise. "I am, Sebastian. We do not belong together," she whispered, glancing away again and taking a step back, trying to put more distance between them.

"Just know I will look on our time together fondly," she said softly.

"Fondly..." That word repeated in his head as he marched his way toward her. She could see the anger roaring to life inside him as he took her by the shoulders, closing the distance. "Don't you dare back out of my life because you are afraid that I would abandon you."

He pulled her back into an embrace, taking her lips with a fiery passion. His strong arms drew her closer and more tightly against him, keeping her there where he thought she belonged. 

Never before had she seen him angry, and her cheeks flushed with the realization that she had made him quite upset. "Sebastian, you cannot..."

Her words were ended, muffled by his drugging kiss. Though everything in her called out to return it, to embrace him and all that he was, still her head was in control and so she struggled in vain in his arms. "Sebastian..." she whimpered angrily, her senses being overwhelmed. "We are not..." As he kissed her again, he could feel her melting against him. Once more she broke free of the kiss, her eyes meeting his. "It is foolish to go on."

His teeth gritted as he turned and pinned her to the wall, determined to keep her from squirming away again. "Foolish is letting the past haunt you as it has." Pressing her to the wall, he danced his lips along her neck. Even now in his anger he still loved her, drifting up to her ear did he voice her, "You have me weak and exposed to you. I won't..." He paused, shaking his head as he swept her into his arms, carrying her back to the bed they'd shared. As he lay her down among the coverlets, he spoke soft and low:

"I refuse to give you up. Ever."

 

A Piece of Your Heart

"The promises of perennial love yet sing here in my heart."

Five months ago.

*   *   *   *   *

Emerging from a tavern room, Erisande smoothed out her wrinkled clothing and tried to straighten her tousled hair. The early hour and the telltale blush of her cheeks left little mystery as to her activities the night before.

Essy rested against a nearby pillar, her arms folded and her brow marked with disapproval.

"You needn't hop into bed with every man who puts your knickers in a knot," she said chidingly. Erisande only rolled her eyes like a child and moved to walk past her teacher of conjury.

"At least let some of them in. That roegadyn looked at you with more than just lust," she said as she fell into place beside her errant pupil. Erisande winced at the idea, wrinkling her nose.

"Every time I let people in, I wear my heart on my sleeve and it gets smashed to pieces." Her face dropped and she shook her head. "Tyriont had the right idea - just enjoy the warmth of company for a time, and move on."

"Yet you let even him have a piece of your heart for a time," Essy reminded her smugly.

"I know, and for a time even that broke me," she responded.

"All that aside, you know what I said about distractions," Essy continued. "You have made much progress, but there is still much to learn." Erisande could only nod at that, and inhaled deeply. Just as she was starting to change her mindset from last night's activities to her training, Essy dragged her right back.

"When you're least expecting it, the right one will make it impossible to shut him out," Essy said with a knowing grin. "Mark my words, girl. Now, get your gloves. We have some work to do with stones today."

On The Shelf For Now

"How far I've come from my childhood home...

There will come a time when my troubles are gone."

Seven months ago.

*   *   *   *   *

Erisande walked side by side with Esselle through Camp Dragonhead. It was market day, and several vendors from the city states had come. There was a good variety of fresh produce, meats, and flowers available for the citizens of Coerthas.

Erisande felt somewhat out of place, not standing behind a merchant stall as she was accustomed to. Eselle noticed her unrest, and patted her arm comfortingly.

"Set that part of you aside for now, Erisande. Let others shoulder your burden."

"I know I should, but I can at least let House Marchand know to bring some linen, and..." Eris trailed off as her teacher only shook her head.

"If they are here, you will feel forced to step up and help. Let your family business thrive in other markets." As Erisande received another stern look, she could only nod meekly. "I need you here and without distraction if you are to become a conjurer."

Erisande nodded then in agreement. She wanted nothing more than to finally hone her abilities as a conjurer. Perhaps, with the power to heal, she would never again have to say goodbye to someone she loved.

Learning at Last

"Now I know that forward is the only way my heart can go. 

I hear your voice calling out to me - 'You'll never be alone.'"

 Eight months ago.

*   *   *   *   *

As the winter breeze threatened to tear the hood of her heavy cloak from her head, Erisande knelt near a fallen knight. With a hand extended to touch his shoulder, she tried to ignore his wince of pain as she cast the cure spell that would soothe him.

"Do not forget that the elements are there to guide you," came the voice of her teacher. "There is air all around you, and earth beneath you. They whisper their wishes as you cast. Let it in, even as you focus on the curative powers of the spell."

Eris simply nodded and continued her casting. A pale glow surrounded her hand, and after a few moments, she let out the heavy breath she had not known she was holding. As the knight's color returned, it was obvious his pain had lessened and he managed to smile at Erisande.

Erisande turned her head to smile at her teacher. The elder elezen woman only smiled back. Erisande had taken to her new tutor almost instantly. A woman from the Shroud as well, Esselle Gaulepur had been helping in Coerthas for years. With three grown children of her own, Essy enjoyed her snowy home, and especially enjoyed feeling useful even as she got older.

"This young man is healed," Esselle began, glancing from the now hale man to her pupil. "There are several others close by who might also need your assistance," she said. Erisande nodded and rose to her feet, offering the soldier a smile.

"Thank you," the knight's companions said, helping him back to his feet as well. He would still need a good bit of rest and a warm bed for a few days, but he would live.

"You are most welcome," said Eris with a nod of her head. "Be safe and well in your travels," she finished as she turned and walked away with Esselle at her side.

Though the snow was thick and the wind heavy, anyone who chose to follow would see that only one set of footprints was made in the snow.

A Place Too Cold

"Go now if you want it. Another world awaits you."

One year ago.

*   *   *   *   *

With a nose as bright red as a tomato, Erisande pushed upon the massive doors of the inn in Camp Dragonhead. Even in her occasional merchant trips to Coerthas, she had forgotten how bloody cold it was here. She would need to invest in a bit warmer clothing, and fast. Fortunately, the trunk she'd packed held plenty of gil, and she knew her name would get her plenty of credit if it were needed.

Rubbing her shoulders, she stepped to the innkeep to quickly settle her affairs. With a healthy pouch of gil, she ensured her chocobo would be well cared for, and that her trunk would be taken to her room with all haste. With that finished, she moved to the hearth and rubbed her gloved hands briskly together, trying to get warm. 

"What am I even doing here?" she mused to herself, wondering if her bones had frozen during the trip. For several long moments, it did not feel as though she would ever be warm again. A mug of steaming tea was brought, and she nursed it in both hands, sipping generously. After a while, she began to feel warm again, and as she settled in a chair near the hearth, she allowed her mind a chance to wander. 

"I just needed to get out of The Shroud," she thought. Even as she thought the words, she felt a chill as a group of knights came through the door. One had a significant limp, his leg carefully bandaged as the others indulged in some good natured teasing of their comrade. One offered to get him his blankie, another a cup of warm milk. Erisande chuckled at the soldiers, though she could not help but notice the bandage. It was fine work, and more...it was a place to start.